It’s days like these when I sit down, but I have no idea what to write about. It’s days where I feel the heaviness of self defeat. Thoughts entangle my mind with what seems to be webs of confusion. The moments where my direction is so clear, my passion leaking through my pores; If dedication had a scent, I would reek of it. How are these states so fleeting? They come and go with very little control. Creativity, inspiration; here one moment and gone the next. I try to replicate the routines. Meditation, walks, anything to empty the mind. Sometimes it hits. Sometimes I have to stop what I’m doing to write down all my ideas.
The mind wants repeatability. Predictable events woven together / but there must be something else.
It’s moments in the car by myself where I feel on top of the world. Invincible, like I can’t mess up. It’s all coming together. I can feel it. These moments soon to be followed by questioning everything. Sorting through the variables, reaching and grabbing at anything that will help the doubt and lack of inspiration all make sense.
“Did I eat too late again?”
“Did I watch too many episodes of Better Call Saul?”
“I gotta stop using my phone after 9”
“I was too rushed this morning”
But then the unexplainable happens; I hit a PR on 5 hours of sleep. I write something I’m quite satisfied with out of pure boredom. I have a passionate conversation with a stranger on my worst day. I guess it’s true, you really can’t wait for motivation. You cannot always delay until the stars align. In my latest post I mentioned how out of all the decisions you will make in your life, the majority of them will be sub par. All you need is a few good ones. Just a few.
There is no formula for creativity. There is no formula for excellence. The best writers, the most sought after artists and the worlds top athletes didn’t get to where they are on skill alone. Showing up everyday is a must, feeling good about it every time you arrive is a fallacy. Creativity can bump you in the head in very predictable ways. Sometimes it will seem like there is a simple, repeatable equation.
when i do this, x result happens.
But then it doesn’t. Sometimes it hits you at the most unpredictable time. A stressful day, lack of sleep, a super late night, after alcohol, alone in the woods, the middle of the night. There is no formula. When it hits, take it. When it’s not there, just try hard enough. Inspiration to a creator is like opportunity to a business person or an athlete. Sometimes all the eyes are on you, and you hit it big. Other times nobody is there to watch, but you know what happened. Opportunities where performance meets the right set of eyes or where a quiet moment to yourself meets creative insight is a moment of serendipity. But if you only show up for these particular moments, odds are good you will never make it. You’ve missed the moments between.
You can’t wait for motivation. You just have to do the damned thing.
Over
+
Over
+
Over again.
Do it because there was a fleeting second in time where you noticed it
just - felt - right.
Do it not because people are watching. Do it because you said you would. Do it not because it’s not your best work.
Do it, because you love it.
Ty.